“Construction Vs. Instruction”

My daughter Grace is seven. Around age three I started keeping a log of the silly comments that come out of her mouth. She has said some pretty entertaining things over the years. When she was four we tried to get her to take her cough medicine by putting it in a colorful shot glass. She downed it saying, “Yum! This is some good sh*t!” (She did not learn that from me!) This little lady is so full of personality and spunk that we have labeled her funny comments “Gracisms.” Some of these are funnier now then when she actually said them. Like the time she was throwing a tantrum in the front row of church. I was so flustered I heaved her up over my shoulder, and started the walk of shame towards the closest exit. She yelled over my shoulder, “Dad! Grady! Come on... We’re getting out of here!” I thought I was going to die!

This summer her most recent “Gracism” led me to write this post, and I think it is my favorite of all time. It’s funny, like usual, but it’s also meaningful and it goes right along with the theme of being Under Construction.

This whole “under construction” idea came to me when Grace returned home from soccer camp on the hottest day of the summer. She was sweaty, exhausted, and worst of all...defeated. I asked her why she seemed so sad, and her reply was, “Soccer camp was hot and boring.  All we did was run. We kicked a stupid ball, in a stupid net, and some girl kept kicking my ankle instead of my shin guards. I’m no good at this. It was stupid... and hot!” After a few minutes of complaining, Grace told me matter-of-factly that she was not going back the next day. I calmly told her that in our family, the rule is...if we start something; we finish it. Especially when we already paid for it. After she spent some time relaxing in the air conditioning, her mood improved and she decided that maybe camp would be more fun the next day. Grace enjoyed playing soccer, she just wasn’t having fun due to the circumstances. The camp instructors were also hot and tired, and they probably weren’t as motivating as they could have been. Everyone has an off day.

When I dropped her off the second day, I told her if she needed anything she could ask to call me and I’d come get her. I went about my day running errands and checking off my to-do list, but I kept my phone within reach halfway expecting a call from Grace.  Fortunately, there was no such call.

A little later that day I headed back to the field about 15 minutes early to watch the end of the camp. As I walked up and joined a group of parents on the sidelines, I spotted Grace midfield. I recognized her by her ponytail and by what I call her “Jokey Smurf” giggle. Even from far away I could see her smiling and enjoying herself. There was my little girl sprinting back and forth, zig-zagging between cones and kicking a neon soccer ball. Clearly the second day was much better than the first. I wondered why.

Nearby, there were two high school players (instructors) cheering her on along with several other kids in her group. I could hear bits and pieces of what they were yelling...“Go Grace! You’ve got this! Left kick! Stop and turn! You’re doing great! Move to the goal! Move to the goal! Go! Go! Go!”

They weren’t only coaching her, they were cheering for her like she was playing in the World Cup! Building her confidence with their words...one positive affirmation at a time.

Grace came off the field that day feeling proud and excited. She was beaming from the attention she had received from the high school helpers. On the car ride home she was talking a mile a minute.  At one point she blurted out, “Mom I love soccer! I’m getting good at this, and I have the nicest soccer constructors!”

At first I thought maybe I didn’t hear her correctly. So I asked her to repeat herself. You have the nicest what? She said it again. “I have the nicest soccer CONSTRUCTORS!” I just shook my head and smiled (secretly plotting my next blog post). She obviously meant to say “soccer instructor,” but it’s August and “back to school” time is on my brain. I can’t stop thinking how important it is for all instructors to be CONSTRUCTING as we teach.

I thought back to the many “instructor hats” I have worn. Fifth grade instructor, tennis instructor, volleyball instructor, dance instructor, barre instructor, school staff instructor. There are always standards and skills to be taught, but I hope I have built my students’ self-esteem and strengthened their foundations along the way. I tend to be standards driven, so I wonder how many times my students have been undergoing construction that wasn’t obvious to me because I was more focused on the skills than on the kids? I wonder what I could have done better or differently . How many times have I tried to get one of my students to focus on math or reading when maybe their invisible hard hat was all that they could bear? Maybe on the exterior, their roads looked smooth, but there were potholes I couldn’t see.

This is when it hit me...The teaching and learning that goes on all through our lives is not as much about instructing as it is about constructing. Think back to your favorite teachers. Aren’t they the ones who built you up? Not just the instructors who built the skills to put on your resume, but the ones who helped you construct yourself as a person.

Grace continued to rattle off several ways these volunteer instructors affected her outlook that day. “They told me I had good footwork. They said I was fast. They noticed how I was really trying my hardest. When I lost the ball they kicked it back to me so I could try again. They let me have water breaks. They taught me how to juggle the ball with my feet. I didn’t even know I could do that! I scored a goal, and they all cheered for me!”  She went on and on and I loved every minute and every word she was saying.

This most recent “Gracism” couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m one week away from starting the 19th year of my teaching career. I have a new school, a new staff, and 24 new students to construct. Grace helped me to remember how important my job is for each and every kid as well as myself. As an instructor perhaps my biggest responsibility is to put on my hard hat and let these kids know that we are all a work in progress, we all need our hard hats. We are constantly under construction and always will be. So bring on the road signs, reroute as necessary and enter the “Construction Zone” in whatever it might be. Some days, depending on the hat(s) we are wearing it might feel as though our entire lives are under construction and ya know what…. that is absolutely just fine.  Buckle up and drive safely!

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