... Wait Training

Surely we can't be the only ones who have loved, lost, prayed, and persevered through difficult times.  This space is created as a sounding board where we can reflect, respond, and remember the best loves in our lives.  Love.  We give it; we receive it, and that's all we can really do.  Our "why" if you will, is to connect with people through our personal experiences, and encourage individuals to share their own stories- creating a ripple effect of self-expression, connection, comfort, and healing.  Sometimes the hardest part of being a human being is the "being" part.  Taking time to be still and reflect on what you're going through is more challenging than the busy act of living life itself.  The blog name comes from the writers' attributes. Kara and Roxy, both of whom are active individuals: teachers/wives/mothers/fitness trainers/and writers at heart.  We are impatiently waiting for life's progress at times, but constantly training ourselves to improve in this department.  Join us on our journey.  Welcome to... 

"...Wait Training" 

Depression (Kara)

I am reluctant to talk about my depression and it frustrates me because I am just like everyone else in this world. When it comes to mental health there is still that stigma. Though it has changed greatly, it still exists.

I hesitate to say too much, but worry I won’t say enough. What will my kids think? Do I want them to know my truest struggles? (Do they really read my blog anyway?) It isn’t something I hide from them, or anyone; but it’s not something we talk about on the regular. What I have started to realize is that my kids need to know and deserve to know.  It affects them now because of me, and it will quite possibly affect them in their futures. They need to know how to recognize it, deal with it, and fight like hell to kick it in the ass.

Even in 2019, the world we live in still judges and stigmatizes so many things. Mental health is the epitome of this, and in my opinion it should be our greatest concern. I truly believe that mental health is society’s greatest crisis. Not because it is untreatable, rather, because we don’t treat it. The treatments that do exist are so old fashioned and historically “the way it has always been done.” We medicate and numb society with a Band-Aid approach and head right back out into the world “all fixed,” or so we think...until the next time.

I never thought of myself as depressed and then I was. Luckily I had Drew who stood by me, even when it wasn’t the easy thing to do. I had a family (both Drew’s and mine) who helped me get the help I needed. Between counseling, and meds, and a lot of hard work, I did get better.  It would be great to say, “...and she lived happily ever after.” But we all know those fairy tales are too good to be true. Depression has continued to be my closest companion for as long as I can remember. Some days it is louder than others, but it never leaves my side. Depression is kind of like grief in the sense that it’s different for everyone. And that just makes it all the more difficult.

Like I always say...I am not special because of my struggles. I am just me. Your struggles aren’t the same as mine. But we all struggle. When we are faced with life’s most painful situations: losing a spouse, a child, or any loved one; when the doctor tells us it’s malignant, when our children come home from school after having practiced a lock down drill to prepare for a school shooter, when the marriage of 20 years suddenly ends, or the baby we pray for still hasn’t come….what happens to our mental health? There is a predisposition. There are chemicals and lack thereof… but we ALL have to maintain our mental health. Yet most of us don’t. We don’t need to see a shrink. We don’t need to take a break. We don’t need to consider meds. We just keep going thinking it will work itself out. Maybe that’s how we end up with mass shootings, drug overdoses, suicides and more. When will we wake up to the fact that we are all suffering and for some of us, that suffering is absolutely debilitating?

I want so much to believe in signs, and I look for God everywhere… maybe God is telling me something when it seems that every time I turn around I hear about Depression. It’s a friend of a friend, a relative, a child...it’s me. Depression and mental health problems are at every corner and touch all of us. Why are we so reluctant to talk about it?  Will you think I’m weak? Will you tell me to “snap out of it” or adjust my meds? What will people say?  And why does that even matter?

For the next few posts we will be focusing a little more on Depression in particular. Our last guest author, Samantha, wrote about her struggle with Postpartum Depression. Several others, myself included, will share parts of their stories as well. Depression and Mental health issues are everywhere. We are honored that these special friends have opened their hearts to us and invite us in to a world that we often keep to ourselves. We are hopeful it will open your hearts at the same time.