... Wait Training

Surely we can't be the only ones who have loved, lost, prayed, and persevered through difficult times.  This space is created as a sounding board where we can reflect, respond, and remember the best loves in our lives.  Love.  We give it; we receive it, and that's all we can really do.  Our "why" if you will, is to connect with people through our personal experiences, and encourage individuals to share their own stories- creating a ripple effect of self-expression, connection, comfort, and healing.  Sometimes the hardest part of being a human being is the "being" part.  Taking time to be still and reflect on what you're going through is more challenging than the busy act of living life itself.  The blog name comes from the writers' attributes. Kara and Roxy, both of whom are active individuals: teachers/wives/mothers/fitness trainers/and writers at heart.  We are impatiently waiting for life's progress at times, but constantly training ourselves to improve in this department.  Join us on our journey.  Welcome to... 

"...Wait Training" 

Thankful for 25 Years (Roxy)

November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I thought I’d take the opportunity to share what I’m really thankful for on this day...my family of four.  I’m choosing to be thankful for people over material things, because that’s what matters most.  This holiday marks a special anniversary for my husband and me, so it’s a good time to reflect on how it all got started. Here’s a little history lesson, and maybe even a life lesson...

Twenty-five years ago on Thanksgiving morning, Brian and I had our first date.  By “date” I mean, we went running around Rose Park and then watched a movie on my parents’ couch. My dad sat between us through most of it.  We were 15-years-old at the time. Three weeks later we had our first kiss at a Christmas party on the back steps of the D’Amici’s Club. At age 15, I was thankful I met a cute boy who was an athlete and a good dresser.  We had fun together, and that seemed to be all that mattered, but there’s more.

Seven years later, he kissed me again on the Altar of St.Bavo’s Church in front of 400 of our closest friends and family.  Four hundred!  That’s not a typo.  At age 22, I was thankful for seven bridesmaids, fancy linens, center pieces, and expensive photographers.  The “big show” known as our wedding consumed me for a year because it was certainly the most important day of my life I thought... but I was wrong.

Three years later we were blessed with a son.  While waiting for his arrival, I was thankful for baby showers, nursery decor, and sleepers that zipped instead of buttoning.  Soft blankets, crib bedding, Diaper Genies, and jogging strollers were all on my list of what was important, and I spent hours researching these products. Definitely what I should focus on, right?...Wrong again.

Four years went by, and we built our dream house on a 3 acre lot.  We'd been planning it since college.  Sketching floor plans and making lists of non-negotiables.  At the time, the material things seemed like all that mattered.  If it was shiny or expensive, I wanted it.  Brian couldn’t live without an extra deep, three-stall garage.  While, I needed a huge kitchen with double ovens and granite counter tops.  We loved it!  We still do, but sometimes it feels like a plantation.  Little did I know that once “normal people” get everything they’ve ever wanted, they have to work like slaves to keep it up.  I’m thankful for the house, but it’s not important.  Life experiences teach you what really is.

Three years (and three miscarriages) after building the house, we were completely surprised. We had given every baby item away after the third miscarriage because our son was already seven and we stopped trying to turn our perfect trio into a family of four.  Instead we tried to be thankful for what we had.  Even if it didn’t feel complete.  We accepted the fact that God didn’t care if our dream home included a bedroom for a second child or double sinks in the upstairs bathroom.  It just wasn’t happenin’... until it did.  And we were so thankful.

I gave birth to our daughter, and all things “baby” became important again, but this time, in pink. We were thankful for nursery furniture, and strollers, and sleepers, and booties...but not really.  Because those things didn’t matter either, and we knew it.

Looking back over the last 25 years makes me thankful in so many ways.  I have everything I’ve ever wanted in three people. The little things that can eat away at all of us each day simply don’t matter.  If the wedding would have been smaller, or the furniture in the nursery didn’t match; if the house wasn’t as fancy or the yard wasn’t as big, we would still have each other, and that’s what matters.  

Today I am giving thanks for Brian, Grayden, and Grace...and for the life lessons God has taught me over the last 25 years!