Social Distancing (Roxy)

We often hear how social media is both a blessing and a curse. This may sound crazy, but I think the Coronavirus might be both a curse and a blessing.

I have to ask. Am I the only person who wonders if this virus is more than a terrible pandemic, but maybe a catalyst to some much needed “slow down” time for the world? Could there be a silver lining in of all of this? I realize we are just beginning, but ponder these questions. Do you think billions of people would stay home with their families and prioritize spending quality time together over earning money if there wasn’t a virus? How many of us would put a pause on climbing corporate ladders, and opt out of making millions of dollars in our various industries to keep people safe and healthy if it weren’t for a world wide initiative? Do you think restaurants would generously give out free meals to someone in need? Would employers pay employees who aren’t coming to work? Would the local companies waive utilities fees, and late fees, and interest charges out of the goodness of their hearts? Tragedies bring out fear in people, but they also bring compassion, kindness, and lots and lots of love.

I have listened to many others share their fears and concerns over the last few weeks, and I have mine too. There are worries about people’s health, worries for people traveling abroad, worries for local small business owners, worries for large losses in retirement funds and the stock market. There are worries and questions that get us nowhere. I won’t pretend to have answers to the questions, but I do have some perspective to share on the worry… Don’t. From my experience, worrying has never improved a situation. People improve situations. How we react to this situation matters. 

People all over town are stocking up- apocalypse style- because they fear there won’t be enough of what they need to survive. But the 2020 perspective of what we “need” and what is actually necessary are very much distorted from what I know to be true. The bottom line is most Americans have so much more than we will ever need, it’s almost shameful. I am admittedly a huge hypocrite in this area. I have plenty. I have been given plenty. I have worked and earned plenty. I continue to spend plenty of money on things that aren’t necessary and that don’t bring long term joy. 

What I don’t have that I truly need is a big dose of “Slow down!” Maybe I'm not the only person who could benefit from some time to reflect and focus on what is really important. 

It’s not that we all don’t know what really matters. Of course it’s our family and friends...our people. It’s time to focus on those family members who live in our houses and those friends who walk into our homes without knocking. These are the people we wouldn’t distance ourselves from no matter what virus they may carry. They are also the ones we cherish the most, but don’t necessarily prioritize because we assume they’ll always be there for us. 

I have spent more time than I’m proud of putting people on hold so I can do “the things.” Now we have been faced with the challenge of putting the things on hold so we can focus on people.

I absolutely LOVE this!!!

I don’t think we realize how much we crave human interaction, but I’m pretty sure we are going to find out. Social media and modern technology will be a blessing in this case to help us keep informed and connected, but it’s not the same especially if you are a self-proclaimed hugger like me. 

Enter the term social distancing.

I’m calling a spade a spade. Social distancing is an introvert's dream vacation, an extrovert's worst nightmare, and almost every young person’s tragic reality. While social distancing is uncharted territory and scary to most of us, I think being socially distant is much more frightening. This is the real problem we face.

Any child born after the invention of social media has been raised in a socially distant way. Think about the world before smartphones, before insta-everything, before constant stimulation. We have information and entertainment at our fingertips at 16 megabytes per second in the United States. We don’t wait for anything! People rarely talk face-to-face anymore, or even over the phone for that matter. We communicate with our thumbs, or we let Siri do it for us while we drive our kids to tutoring sessions, singing lessons, club sports, and travel team practices. We invest money in our children, because we don’t have the extra time. And we don’t have time because we spend it making money. It’s a vicious cycle. Social skills such as listening, taking turns, and looking another person in the eye have become almost non-existent. You think toilet paper is hard to come by these days? Try getting eye-contact from a 5th grader!  

I’m hopeful this social distancing will be the wake up call we needed. I can’t wait to spend time with my children! It doesn’t matter if our spring break trip gets cancelled. It doesn’t matter if we don’t get the money back on that condo. What matters is that we are together, we have what we need, and we are healthy. Maybe social distancing will help swing the pendulum back to the world I grew up in. Although it wasn’t perfect, it was really awesome, and I wish my kids had known a time like that. 

When I was growing up, our neighbors used to stop over for a glass of iced tea, or a swim, or just a visit with our family. While the grown-ups were chatting on the porch, or helping fix each other’s lawn mowers, the kids were organizing pick-up games in the backyards, and playing catch with hand-me down baseball mitts. We picked captains, picked teams, picked fights on occasion, and learned to make up. We learned to get along and play fair. We did this all before the streetlights came on, and we did it all without spending a dime. 

Parents didn’t have to side hustle so their kids could play in travel leagues at $2000 a season. We had city park recreation teams, and Kool-aid in a big red jug. Kids didn’t fall off their bicycles because they were riding while texting. We didn’t have cyber-bullying, and we sure as hell didn’t have little chalkboard signs in our living rooms declaring, “Our Wi-Fi password is _____.”
Parents didn’t occupy toddler-aged children with a gadget. They sang songs, and played with blocks, and read books. Today I saw a 5-year-old being “babysat” by his very own tablet, sitting hunchbacked, face 6 inches from a small screen, while his sibling sat next to him with a different small screen. What if they had to compromise, or share, or take turns? Would that be so bad?

Social Distancing might be a current term, but anyone over 40 has witnessed our society becoming socially distant for the past 20 years. Let’s work to reverse that, shall we? Here’s my proposal... Over the next few weeks, while the scientists work to find a cure for the Coronavirus, I’d like to challenge parents (myself included) to put our efforts into practicing social skills with our own children and spending quality time enjoying our families. What if we stay home a little, slow down a lot, take time to get reacquainted with our kids, and make memories with them before they are adults? 

It’s time to stop counting the rolls of toilet paper in our linen closets and start giving thanks for the blessings under our roofs. Slowing down is going to be a good thing.